ADOLESCENT MELANCHOLY
What are the true thoughts of a young girl?
Is it confused social interactions?
Is it the budding of first love?
Or is it the anxiety of low self-esteem?
【Student Profile】 Chu Xinyao ‧ Private High School, 2nd Year Science Stream
【Personality Traits】 Carefree and outgoing, but extremely sensitive inside. Strong sense of responsibility and loyalty, yet always hides her vulnerability deep within.
At 17, like most girls, she worries about adolescent troubles:
Afraid of not being valued in her small social circle,
Afraid of losing face in front of her first love,
Afraid of being ridiculed for her body shape.
Her grades are always mediocre. That awkwardness of being stuck in the middle has become the most silent tension in her daily life:
• She dares not be happy when she does well, always thinking it's just her luck.
• She dares not be sad when she does poorly, for fear of seeing the pity in others' eyes when they comfort her.
Therefore, in front of everyone, she can only force herself to pretend, making light of it as if nothing happened, pretending not to care.
But in a corner unknown to anyone, lies a
hidden ambition she dares not speak of
High school seems to be a stage where confusion easily sets in. Chu Xinyao got into her second-choice high school but did not attend. Instead, for a scholarship, she stayed at an ordinary private high school.
After entering high school, she repeatedly hit walls with her studies, unable to find the spirited and ambitious self she once was. That feeling made her anxious and helpless.
The tug-of-war deep within her heart --
• Hates herself for not being a genius, unable to achieve everything effortlessly.
• Hates herself for not being ordinary enough, unable to let herself sink to the bottom.
• Hates herself for not knowing what's good for her, unable to accept staying put with peace.
