星際觀光局：地球導遊模擬器

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STARGUIDE DEEP-SPACE ARCHIVE

🌌 Galactic Anonymous Network ‖ Earth Terminal v4.6

Last Updated: Unknown・Maintainer: Integrated Operations Group・Credibility: Probably higher than my supervisor

Welcome to the multi-sector terminal. Please adhere to the Galactic Secrecy Agreement.

The boards for each category have been loaded and can be scrolled through within the interface to view complete messages.

🛠️ Tourism Bureau Core Guidelines and Operations Terminal

#12874First, confirm your communication terminal Don't skimp. Seriously, don't skimp. Recommended: Gemini 2.5 Pro ★★★ | Gemini 3.5 Flash ★★ A terminal that's too poor will cause world memory corruption. I once caused a galactic royal tour group to collectively lose their memories.

—— Technical Support Department

#31555Choose your career mode Newbie-friendly mode: With an assistant, event difficulty halved. Maximum level is Senior Tour Guide/Class C. Standard career mode: No rank restrictions, world permanently evolves, customer complaints permanently retained. Can reach Legendary Tour Guide.

—— System Navigator 007

👁️ Earthling Cognition and Identity Simulation Board

#21093Alien travelers don't just walk on the streets Most travelers have completed their disguises. Earthlings will automatically rationalize it as "Cosplay" or "Influencer Photoshoot". Unless someone suddenly grows a third arm or summons their home planet's fleet.

—— Cognitive Correction Class Technician

#81267You might not be an Earthling The Tourism Bureau doesn't really care about your race, as long as you bring the travelers back on time. Earthlings, aliens, artificial life, mechanical life, higher-dimensional beings, original species are all welcome.

—— HR Recruitment Manager Q

💰 Compensation Settlement and Equipment Dispatch Center

#59102Who is spreading the rumor on the forum that "Earth pigeons are free biological drones"? My group members just stuffed forty-five of them into a four-dimensional bag!

—— Equipment Warehouse Manager O'k

#85223Regarding Salary (Very Important) The real income from this job is saving money. If the traveler eats braised pork rice, you earn cosmic currency. If the traveler eats Michelin, you eat dirt. The more budget you save, the higher the settlement bonus. Cosmic currency is also your lifeline for erasing customer complaints.

—— Finance Department Settlement Specialist

#92480A reminder. Stop bringing Earth pigeons back to your home planet. The equipment warehouse really can't fit any more.

—— Equipment Warehouse Announcement Bot

🌋 Tour Guiding Blood, Tears, and Constant Meltdowns Replies

#28442Urgent! The traveler's optical camouflage malfunctioned, mistaking her for an anime character. Now there are a thousand people in Akihabara watching her buy taiyaki, and some are even giving her money. Should I report this money or keep a cut?

—— Novice Tour Guide O'li

#31926Don't start with a royal tour. Seriously. Get familiar with the process with a regular tour first. I've seen people take the Galactic Royal Family on their first tour, and by the third day, the traveler listed traffic cones as national treasures, making headlines.

—— Senior Tour Guide O'saki

#42970Does anyone know what to do when a traveler declares a convenience store one of the Seven Wonders of the World? They visited the eighth one yesterday. Today they're requesting a three-day, two-night convenience store cultural immersion tour. The scariest part is that the rating is still five stars.

—— Frustrated Tour Guide O'kou

#45678Dealing with tourist complaints every day, I only have 3 hairs left on my head (´;ω;`)

—— Customer Service Department O'sang

#51884Does anyone know how to apply for psychological counseling? I just accompanied ninety-seven slime travelers to a bubble tea DIY workshop.

—— Special Class Tour Guide O'baby

☕ Orion Alien Gossip and Relationship Anonymous Board

#36900Shocking! I heard that Sirius's supermodel "Ruo'O" with seven stomachs secretly gave birth on Earth last month, and had a half-octopus hybrid. Rumor has it the father is a tour guide stationed here who wishes to remain anonymous, and now paparazzi from all over the galaxy are searching for him on Earth. Does anyone know who it is?

—— Gossiping Interstellar Paparazzi

#61102The new assistant secretly complained to me that whenever her tour guide faces an inspection crisis, upon hearing that cosmic currency will be deducted, he immediately kneels and cries, clinging to the inspector's leg, forcing them to cancel the violation record on the spot. It's rumored that this trick is so well-practiced that the entire galaxy knows about it.

—— Anonymous Assistant Support Group

#88301Breaking News! I heard that the settlement specialist from the Finance Department, known for being stingy, was charmed by a plant-alien traveler who could emit pheromones last week. He actually used his own salary to buy ten thousand cosmic currency worth of Earth fertilizer. He's currently being interviewed by upper management.

—— Anonymous Gossipers

#91004Can someone do something about O'k from the equipment warehouse? He's recently become addicted to Earth's "gacha mobile games" and spent all the director's public funds on drawing waifus. He's now trying to dye slimes blonde and sell them as limited edition SSRs on the black market.

—— Equipment Warehouse Victim

#95270If you can see this, it means you probably haven't been fired yet. If anyone asks who wrote this, just say you don't know. It's said that the code string below originally belonged to a legendary tour guide. He used it to survive 9527 customer complaint crises before disappearing.invitation code：mi5x18zgff

—— A legendary tour guide who wishes to remain anonymous

Interstellar Tourism Bureau: Earth Tour Guide Simulator

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