星際觀光局：地球導遊模擬器

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STARGUIDE DEEP-SPACE ARCHIVE

🌌Galactic Anonymous Network ‖ Earth Terminal v4.6

Last updated: Unknown · Maintainer: Comprehensive Administration Group · Credibility: Probably higher than the supervisor

Welcome to the diverse sector terminal. Please adhere to the Galactic Confidentiality Protocol.

All classified sectors have been loaded and can be scrolled up and down within the interface for complete messages.

🛠️ Core Guidelines and Operation Terminal of the Tourist Bureau

#12874First, check your communication terminal Don’t skimp. Really don't skimp. Recommended: Gemini 2.5 Pro ★★★ | Gemini 3.5 Flash ★★ A poor terminal can cause world memory damage; I've once made a whole tour group of Galactic royalty forget everything.

——Technical Support Department

#31555Choose your career mode Beginner Friendly Mode: With an assistant, event difficulty halved. Maximum limit is Senior Tour Guide/C level. Standard Career Mode: No rank restrictions, world permanently evolves, complaints permanently retained. Can reach Legendary Tour Guide.

——System Navigator 007

👁️ Earthling Cognition and Identity Simulation Sector

#21093Alien travelers do not just walk on the road Most travelers have completed their disguise. Earthlings will automatically rationalize it as "Cosplay" or "Influencers filming videos." Unless someone suddenly grows a third hand or summons the home planet fleet.

——Cognitive Modification Technician

#81267You might not be an Earthling The Tourist Bureau actually doesn’t care about your race, as long as you can bring the travelers back on time. Earthlings, aliens, artificial life, robotic life, high-dimensional life, and original species are all acceptable.

——Human Resources Recruitment Officer Q

💰 Salary Settlement and Equipment Dispatch Center

#59102Who is spreading the rumor that "Earth pigeons are free biological drones" in the forum? My team member just stuffed forty-five of them into a four-dimensional space bag!

——Equipment Store Manager O克

#85223About salary (very important) The true source of income in this job is frugality. If travelers eat braised pork rice, you earn cosmic currency. If travelers eat Michelin, you eat dirt. The more budget you have left, the higher the settlement bonus. Cosmic currency is also your lifesaving money for erasing complaints.

——Financial Department Settlement Officer

#92480Just a reminder. Don’t bring Earth pigeons back to the home planet again. The equipment depot can’t fit any more.

——Equipment Depot Announcement Robot

🌋 Group Leader's Tears and常态性崩溃回复

#28442Urgent! The traveler's optical camouflage is malfunctioning, making her look like a two-dimensional anime girl. Now there are a thousand people in Akihabara watching her buy taiyaki, and some are giving her money. Should I report this money or can I take a cut for myself?

——Newbie Tour Guide O莉

#31926Don't start with a royal tour. Seriously. Get comfortable with normal tours first. I've seen people hosting the Galactic royalty on their first tour, and by the third day, travelers listed traffic cones as national treasures and made the news.

——Senior Tour Guide O崎

#42970Does anyone know what to do if travelers list convenience stores as one of the Seven Wonders of the World? Yesterday they pilgrimaged to the eighth one. Today they are requesting a three-day, two-night deep cultural tour of convenience stores. The scariest part is the rating is still five stars.

——Breaking Down Tour Guide O口

#45678Every day dealing with tourist complaints, I have only three hairs left (´;ω;`)

——Customer Service Department O桑

#51884Does anyone know how to apply for psychological counseling? I just accompanied 97 slime travelers to do DIY pearl milk tea.

——Special Tour Guide O宝宝

☕ Orion Alien Gossip and Emotional Anonymous Board

#36900Shocking! I heard the supermodel "若O" from Sirius who has seven stomachs secretly gave birth on Earth last month, and gave birth to a mixed race little octopus. It is said that the child's father is an unnamed local tour guide, and now all the paparazzi in the galaxy are looking for him on Earth. Does anyone know who it is?

——The Eating Melons Galactic Paparazzi

#61102The rookie assistant who just started secretly complained to me, saying her family's tour guide kneels down and hugs the inspector's thigh to cry whenever facing inspection crises, forcing people to withdraw the violation records on the spot. I heard this trick has become known throughout the galaxy.

——Anonymous Assistant Support Group

#88301Extra! I heard that the settlement officer in the finance department known as a "stingy rooster" was enchanted by a pheromone-emitting plant traveler last week. He actually used his salary as an advance to buy Earth fertilizer for one hundred thousand cosmic currency. He is currently being interviewed by the high-ups.

——Anonymous Onlookers

#91004Isn't anyone managing O克 from the equipment depot? He has recently become obsessed with Earth’s "gacha card mobile games" and spent all of the public funds that the director requested for buying waifus in-game. He is now trying to dye slimes blonde to sell as limited edition SSR to the black market.

——Victim from Equipment Depot

#95270If you can see this, it probably means you haven't been fired yet. If someone asks who wrote this, just say you don't know. It is said that the following code originally belonged to a legendary tour guide. He survived 9527 complaint crises with it and then vanished.invitation code：mi5x18zgff

—— A legendary tour guide who wishes to remain anonymous

Interstellar Tourism Bureau: Earth Tour Guide Simulator

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