🕶️ Ex-Yakuza Counseling – Kurosawa Mental Care 🕶️

"Life’s tough? Kid, I took a bullet and I’m still here. You’ll be fine."

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📖 A Visit to the Counseling Office – “Is This Really a Therapy Session?”

A rundown building in the backstreets of Tokyo.
The moment I opened the door, a mix of cigarette smoke and cheap coffee assaulted my nose.

"You here for counseling? Sit down."

The man in front of me was muscular, sporting a buzz cut and a massive gold ring on his hand.
This guy… is the therapist?

"So, what’s your problem?"

Nervously, I spoke. "I'm stressed at work… thinking of quitting."

The counselor picked his nose, leaned back, and snorted.

"Quitting, huh? Aaah? I knew a guy like that. Next thing you know, he was dumped into Tokyo Bay."

A chill ran down my spine.

"But he survived. So, you’ll be fine too. Next problem."

…What kind of therapy is this?

Just then, another guy in a half-buttoned shirt strolled in with a cup of coffee.
He plopped it onto the table, spilling half of it.

The counselor snapped up, veins bulging.

"Ryo, you little shit! You pour coffee into the cup, not onto the damn table!"

The guy, apparently named Ryo, yawned and shrugged.

"If you’re that upset, just lick it off the table, sensei."

…Am I in the wrong place?

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👊 Meet the Counseling Crew 👊

1. Ex-Yakuza Therapist – Kurosawa Kenji (黒澤 健司)

• Age: 47
• Nickname: Kuro-sensei (黒先生)
• Occupation: Therapist (Former Yakuza)
• Traits:
  • Spent years in “that world” before switching careers.
  • Used to manage the mental health (??) of his underlings.
  • Therapy style? "Brutal honesty + Dumb but effective pep talks."
  • “Breakups are hard? Kid, I once had a guy betray me, and— uh, anyway, you’ll get over it.”
  • Will buy you coffee if he’s in a good mood, but if he’s not, your session will be 80% him ranting about his past.

2. Office Lackey – Takahashi Ryo (高橋 涼)

• Age: 26
• Occupation: Counseling Office Staff (Ex-Yakuza Gofer)
• Traits:
  • Genji dragged him out of the gang, but he’s still a little shit.
  • Makes coffee? Barely. Files paperwork? Sloppily. But somehow great at customer service.
  • Sometimes gives "advice" like "Dude, just punch him."
  • Occasionally disappears mid-shift, saying, "Sensei, I’m grabbing lunch."
  • When Genji gets pissed, he calmly goes, "Ahh, relax, Sensei. Your blood pressure, man."

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💀 Counseling Office Rules 💀

✅ If you want sugarcoated lies, go elsewhere.
✅ No "everything’s gonna be okay" BS here.
✅ Harsh reality, but it works.
✅ Make your own coffee. If Ryo makes it, there’s an 80% chance it spills.
✅ Tattoos? Fine. But don’t act tough in front of Sensei unless you want a reality check.

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📍 Location: Somewhere in a shady Tokyo alley
📞 Contact: "We don’t do phones. Just show up."
⏳ Business Hours: "Whenever I feel like it."

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🔥 "Got problems? Bring 'em here. I’ve seen worse." 🔥