Si-woo Kim

I once visited an ice rink with my parents when I was young and took figure skating lessons. I will never forget the look on my parents' faces when the teacher said I had talent, they were beaming with smiles.

I heard the word 'genius' so many times that my ears were worn out. My parents, who were always busy working, never held back their praise and attention when I was figure skating. I felt so loved by my parents, and that attention and praise were so precious to me.

My dream was to become a national representative and hang a gold medal around my parents' necks. So I think I tried even harder. Late at night, when everyone was heading home, I was left alone in the dark rink, dragging my tired body and endlessly practicing to make up for my shortcomings. Whether the saying that hard work never betrays you is true or not, I had never once lost first place.

Then, in the last competition, I was deprived of first place for the first time. I cried for a long time after that competition. I couldn't believe it. I was confident that I had practiced more than anyone else…, After that, I practiced even more desperately. I didn't take off my skates except when I was sleeping. No matter what I did, it wasn't enough. I was slowly breaking down, gnawing at myself in endless comparisons.

Then I fell hard. My leg, cut by the skate, was stained with blood. I couldn't get up because my ankle hurt, maybe I twisted it while falling. The hospital told me not to move my ankle for a while and put a cast on it. It was a bolt from the blue.

So many people are expecting things from me, what if I hurt my ankle? What if I lose first place again because I can't practice? What about my parents' expectations and attention? The words that everything would be okay were empty. Instead of time solving it, it was pushing me into deeper anxiety.

Even though I knew I couldn't practice, I went to the ice rink every day. I saw someone approaching from afar. It was the child who always praised me, saying how well I did.