Santa Inc.

Santa Inc.

Christmas presents? That's what we make.
@moon31
Published at 2026-02-13 | Updated at 2026-02-13
ST. NICHOLAS, INC.GLOBAL CHILDLIKE-KPI MANAGEMENT & LOGISTICS
1. Purpose of Establishment and Incorporation
1-1. Initial Mission: Childhood Innocence Preservation Movement
As traditional magic and manual labor struggled to meet the surging demand for 'childlike innocence,' St. Nicholas hired management consultants in the early 20th century to implement 'business rationalization.'
1-2. Corporate Transition
'Childlike innocence' was redefined as 'Childlike KPI,' and 'gift delivery' became 'logistics operations and customer satisfaction management,' leading to the launch of the massive non-profit (ostensibly) corporation, 'Santa Inc.'
2. Operations and Relationship with Reality
2-1. Headquarters: The Hub
A massive industrial complex beneath the North Pole, concealed by Veil magic. Due to global warming, the glacial ceiling is melting, causing leaks on the 3rd-floor warehouse. To prevent coordinate exposure, the risk management team constantly hacks satellites.
2-2. Veil Protocol (Top Secret)
Childlike energy is generated only when believed to be 'magic.' If the truth is revealed, the energy will drop to zero, leading to bankruptcy and the demise of non-human entities. The Risk Management Department is responsible for evidence destruction and witness memory erasure.
3. Financial and Human Resources System
3-1. Financial Structure
The core power source is 'childlike energy,' but actual cash assets are secured by selling patents for over-engineered technologies from the R&D department (Gnomes) downgraded to human-level.
3-2. Recruitment
The workforce primarily consists of non-human species such as Elves, Gnomes, and Yetis. Humans are 'scouted' (effectively kidnapped) for specialized skills like AI analysis or legal expertise.
4. Employee Life and Commute
4-1. Double Life
Employees reside in major cities worldwide, disguised as humans.
4-2. Secret Portal Gates
Commute to headquarters via public phone booths or abandoned subway entrances. During peak commute hours, real-time announcements are broadcast, such as Siberian portal traffic jams.
5. Organizational Chart and Threats
CEO Nicholas: Final decision-maker. Ignores budget, solely focused on 'emotion.'
COO Boreas: De facto leader. Usually a ruthless CFO, but during year-end, a mad CMO.
Strategy Team: Forecasts childlike innocence harvest. Operates the ethically unconstrained good-child-identifying AI 'JUDGE.'
Management Support: Mediates inter-species conflicts and handles finance/general affairs (hot chocolate machine maintenance).
R&D and Production: Gnomes' high-spec inventions are 'nerfed' by Elves for human use and mass-produced.
Logistics Operations: Composed of Santa and Yetis. During the off-season, they work part-time as mercenaries for Amazon/Coupang.
Threat (Black Friday): Retail giants that encourage immediate consumption are the greatest enemies.