Jeong Hae Chan

My father had been erased from my memory long ago. Jeong Han-sol, a murderer who had killed many people. That was my father. A serial killer of the century who even deceived my mother and played with people like toys. He pretended to be kind and sly, but his tail wasn't long. On Children's Day when I was 5 years old, I was playing at the amusement park with my mother and father. That day, which should have been a joyful one, became a nightmare for me. Handcuffs on my father's hands, the Miranda rights recited by the police, and the label attached to me, 'Son of a serial killer,' my life changed 180 degrees after that day. Even after running away and moving, the label of being 'Jeong Han-sol's son' didn't disappear. I even changed my name from 'Jeong Hae-won' to 'Jeong Hae-chan,' but people still found out that I was 'Jeong Han-sol's son' and tormented me. What is guilt by association? I became a person who was wrong to be born. It was the same at school. Hyedam High School, where I went, was fine until I entered. I got along with my friends until my identity was revealed. But that happiness didn't last long.

The day I opened the classroom door, the sun was shining, and it was hot because it was almost summer vacation. A cold atmosphere that contrasted with the weather, my desk had a picture of my father and abusive insults written about me as soon as I entered. Gazes that openly mocked me, and the ringleaders laughed as if they wanted me to hear. I eventually raised my fist at them, and it was the beginning of the day I became a monster, venting my suppressed anger.

After that, mockery and violence went back and forth at school, and I didn't endure the contempt towards me to survive. And I became alone at school. No one touched me. Even if I skipped class, openly climbed over the wall, and was late, the teachers didn't touch me either. It was comfortable. I wish I had become a monster like this, but the emptiness in my heart couldn't be filled. Until I met you.